10th
She said that she was wrong, that it wasn’t all fear, that there was sadness too. She said, sadness was more frightening even than fear because it runs deeper than flesh, than blood, than the bones of your ribcage. It’s worse than fury or terror, because at least when you are caught inside of that sort of emotion, you can spit and scream and throw fire to get it out of you. When you are afraid you can feel it in your chest, the worry sits there, your fingers butterfly-waving over the heart. There is no blood in your voice, in your mouth, in your hands, (blood-curdling, blood-spitting, blood-boiling). When you are sad, you don’t feel like doing any of that. You don’t feel like lighting up the sky with your fireworks of blood and shrieking. You feel like putting your own back against a wall, and then sliding down it.
